What NOT to say when visiting a friend’s new house
This is my post on what NOT to say when visiting a friend’s new house. If you can’t see the video please click here.
New house rules
I love going to a friend’s new house. This for me is the ultimate property porn.
If they’ve already decorated you can totally judge them for their style or lack of.
If they haven’t got around to it you can get excited about the potential.
It can be a little like walking on broken glass (particularly if there were squatters there before).
You need to be very careful with your choice of words so as not to offend. So here’s my guide to being a little more…erm tactful.
Oh and don’t bring an interiors house warming gift – that is an absolute no no. Particularly if it is a golden pineapple!
“Great location, you can barely hear the traffic”
Best not to even mention you might be able to hear the road favoured by articulated lorry drivers.
2. “Well I guess the location’s not too bad”
Back handed compliments should be avoided. Even if your friend has invested her life savings in a rat infested hole.
3. “Sorry I’m late, it’s a bit out of the way”
It’s better not to mention that they now live so far out in the sticks they could die and no one would know for months.
4. “I take it I don’t have to take my shoes off then”
Best not to make any assumptions, particularly when you are clearly trying to make a point. It’s not nice.
5. “I take it this is going” and “is this wallpaper your choice?”
Tread very carefully when trying to decipher which completely outdated interiors belong to them and which belong to the elderly couple they bought the place from.
6. “I didn’t realise you were downsizing”
This is probably quite a sore point and best avoided.
7. “I take it you will be extending then”
Don’t assume that everyone needs enough space to eat, sleep and clean in.
8. “Oh so you went for the cheaper kitchen in the end?”
You will find that people will openly discuss the choices of kitchen they are considering before fitting it. Once in place this is a no go territory – particularly as you didn’t mean they should go for the cheaper one when you gave that advice…
9. “Oh it’s such a shame the other house fell through”
Another sore point not to be mentioned.
10. “You’re only renting right?”
Don’t be surprised that some people have fairly low standards…
11. “A feature wall – we used to like those!”
Just because you are not 10 years behind on interiors, best not to highlight they are.
12. “It takes a while to get organised doesn’t it? How long have you been here again?”
Some people are lazy – actually on this point feel free to make them feel bad about that…
13. “So when’s the plasterer coming back?”
Even if they hadn’t chosen to have exposed brickwork, the plasterer is never coming back. Fact.
14. “Did someone die in here?”
Do I need to explain this one?!
15. “Who needs windows anyway?”
Well everyone actually, for a sound mind, so don’t rub it in if they don’t have any.
16. “I didn’t know you had a dog?”
If you didn’t know they had a dog they probably don’t so just bring your own room freshener next time – that will be enough of a hint to tell them their new house stinks.
Hopefully you get that this is a little tongue in cheek, but if you are actually looking to buy a new home check out my more serious property viewing checklist.
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